The Red Menace descends Saturday the 15th of December, 2007
Santas are encouraged to ride the buses. The SCV's (Santa Containment Vehicles) are rented for the purpose of keeping drunk-ass Santa from getting behind the wheel, not to mention the joy Santa will have when singing naughty christmas carols and sipping "Christmas cheer" while riding in his sleigh.
Sign in for bus riders begins at 8:30pm. Don't dilly-dally, Santa's sleigh will depart when Rudolph gets restless. Late Santas will have to hustle to catch up with us en route.
WE ARE SANTA
Every December, for the last 13 years, Cacophonous Santas have been visiting cities around the world and generating a bit of naughty Christmas fun as part of the annual Santacon events. It all started back in 1994 when several dozen Cheap Suit Santas paid a visit to downtown San Francisco for a night of Kringle Kaos. Things have reached Critical Xmas and Santarchy is now a global phenomenon.
JOIN US - dfwsantas-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
SANTA'S NEED A SUIT
You will need a costume (just a hat does NOT count!). Without one, you will be publicly ridiculed in a very uncomfortable way that may involve elves and a candy cane. This is SO easy, take your favorite costume or costume idea, and santafy it, just add elements of red and white. Fabric Stores have white trim for cheap.
WHAT TO BRING
You must be 21 to join us, and you'll need an ID. Bring CASH. Don't use a credit card or open a tab! Santa moves quickly on Rampage, and won't feel guilty about leaving you behind. Anyone can dress up like a bunch of Santas and do a bar crawl. We do it naughty, and with style! bring the best of your noel tomfoolery: dirty xmas cards, twisted toys, gift-wrapped lumps of coal, whips, dirty panties, etc...
HOW MANY CITIES WILL FEEL OUR RATH
DECEMBER 14 - ARLINGTON, TEXAS (arlington@dallassantarampage.us)
Start at Studer's Lounge at 8pm
DECEMBER 15 - DALLAS, TEXAS (dallas@dallassantarampage.us)
Sloppyworld @ 8:30pm.
DECEMBER 22 - DENTON, TEXAS (denton@dallassantarampage.us)
Start on the square at 9pmpm call santa if you are late
JOIN US - dfwsantas-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
WHY THE HELL NOT?
READ THE RULES
1. DON'T MESS WITH THE COPS.
If the cops tell you to do something, DO IT. If you get busted, do it when you and I aren't dressed the same.
2. DON'T MESS WITH STORE SECURITY.
If they ask you to leave a store, get the hell out and be nice about it, or other Santas will take shit for it. Besides, they might call the cops and then we're dealing with the first MESS.
3. DON'T MESS WITH LITTLE KIDS.
I'm serious, this is supposed to be fun. Holidays are unpleasant enough for kids these days. If we can't brighten it at least we can be one less worry for them. If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on their parents. Remember: The kids of today are the weirdoes of tomorrow.
